Zen Heathen 🇨🇦<p>*sigh*</p><p>I try very hard not to be concerned with "traditional gender roles" and toxic masculinity and shit like that. But.</p><p>I just nearly fell on the floor in huge, wracking sobs. I'm *so tired*. Being in pain like this, hobbling around, having trouble even getting to the bathroom. It's just taking *everything* out of me. I feel like I've got nothing left.</p><p>But this morning, I was feeling so good. Same meds, same everything, just not at the end of the day. Tomorrow morning, I'll feel just like this, until the meds and stuff hit, then I'll be fine, because all I'm gone, I'm nothing, there's just the pain pills.</p><p>I prefer days when I can model toughness, resilience. This is not one of those days, at least not this evening.</p><p>If nothing else, the universe is sending me a lesson in understanding that none of us is more than one bad day away from illness, disability, infirmity, whathaveyou, and we must a) understand that all is impermanent, and b) understand each other, and have compassion and ensure dignity to each other. Whatever you see that's "a low point", you could be there tomorrow. How would you wish the universe and other people to treat you?</p><p>Definitely going to meditate tonight, because I need some equanimity--not going to sit on the floor, though; might never get back up again.</p><p>🙏 <a href="https://beige.party/tags/Zen" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Zen</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/LowPoint" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LowPoint</span></a> </p><p>(Everybody's got that "Yes, this is Tony Stank!" gif, but nobody's got three seconds before it, "this is a bad beat.")</p>