"All the other prophets came back with commandments!"
"Where they get them?"
"I ... suppose they made them up."
"You get them from the same place."

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

It looked like the sort of book described in library catalogues as
"slightly foxed", although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well.

Ah, but has it been hedgehogged?
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

He was always at a loss when people acted like this. When machines went funny you just oiled them or prodded them or, if nothing else worked, hit them with a hammer. Nomes didn't respond well to this treatment.

Terry Pratchett, Diggers

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Ibid you already know."

More Discworld philosophers
Terry Pratchett, Pyramids

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

It is traditional, when loading wire trolleys, to put the most fragile items at the bottom.

Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course."

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family effort goes into selecting one at the start ("She looks like a Winnifred to *me*"), and the as the years roll by it suddenly finds itself being called Meepo or Ratbag.

Terry Pratchett, The Unadulterated Cat

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome.

Terry Pratchett, Mort

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"ER...HO. HO. HO."

Death makes a career move
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"He's a man of few words, and he doesn't know what either of them mean," people said, but not when he was within hearing.

Terry Pratchett, The Carpet People

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

It's not Brits who think American readers are a bunch of whinging morons with the geo-social understanding of a wire coathanger, it's *American* editors.

Setting the record straight
Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Crowley was in Hell's bad books. Not that Hell has any other kind.

Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"You mean mysterious ancient races of Amazonian princesses who subject all male prisoners to strange and exhausting progenitative rites?" said Eric, his glasses beginning to fog.

Terry Pratchett, Eric

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Love this definition of space in Pratchett's Wings:
"There are two types of space: a) something containing nothing and b) nothing containing everything"

"Nothing containing everything." Excuse me while I go and stare out the window for a moment.

Up until now I'd always though RSI meant 'I hate my damn job'.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people the people who made up the phrase "people are people everywhere" had traditionally thought of as people. And even if you weren't virtuous, as you had been brought up to understand the term, you did like to see virtue in other people, provided it didn?t cost you anything.

Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Oh dear, I'm feeling political today. It's just that it's dawned on me that 'zero tolerance' only seems to mean putting extra police in poor, run-down areas, and not in the Stock Exchange.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

- "It could be a torture chamber or a dungeon or a hideous pit or anything!"
- "It's just a student's bedroom, sergeant."
- "You see?"

Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld