Looking for explanations…<p>It’s been a month since we arrived in the Manawatu, but feels much longer. 2 weeks of packing, a few days of settling in the olds & unpacking essentials & dealing with MIL’s fall, 3 days away, & a week here at sister & BIL’s home, visiting olds & watching them adapt. </p><p>Yesterday we all gathered to eat an amazing goat curry cooked by partner (no recipe, own spice mix) & a plum cake I baked using plums from the garden. Tonight we’re all going out for dinner. Tomorrow we might take the olds to a folk museum in their town, reputed to be very good & with a nice little cafe. And that’s when we’ll say our goodbyes with them. </p><p>On Friday BIL will drive us down to Wellington for our flight home in the afternoon. </p><p>Each of the last few years has felt like it might be the last time we do this. They’re so much older this time, so much more frail, & their cognitive decline is so much more evident. But they’re adjusting well to their move, have started walking to shops & cafes (they’ve been going everywhere by car), & are even talking about how’ll they’ll manage when they’re no longer driving. (There’s a regular “health shuttle” to the hospital in the big town for medical appointments etc, & a good little health centre in their own town.)</p><p>There’s been plenty of time for reflection, observation, venting of frustrations (not with the olds!) & discussion. I’ve had to bite my tongue quite a lot re my observations of neurodivergence. (I’m not a qualified expert, & even if I was, people need to come to their realisations in their own time & not be pushed too hard.) The projection of certain habits & shortcomings onto others is quite profound, but it’s a very strong trait in many humans! (Even me! Astounding I know!) </p><p>Last but not least, it’s been a privilege to have been a part of all of this. Having lost my own parents in my teens, meeting partner’s parents as hale & hearty people in their early 70s, getting to know them, & watching them age, has been a gift. We might have several years of popping over annually to visit, or not. We’ll just have to wait & see. </p><p><a href="https://aus.social/tags/Ageing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Ageing</span></a></p>